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I do really like Nerf Guns. I like them so much, in fact, I used to go out and play with them. I did this up to around 21 years old, when my anxiety became too great for me to leave the house with a nerf gun equipped. The adventures and worlds I explored, it was truly something that just a piece of plastic in my hand can unleash my imagination and from there many cool stories were born. Unfortunately I didn't really record many of my ideas. But I did find these weapons profiles I made for my Nerf Guns. Good times and fond memories :'3

A short story from a spin-off universe almost forgotten. Admiral George Lancer stood upon the bridge of the HSV Pride of London, as the old cruiser and her attendant force of a few dozen Brigadier-class Destroyers beared down upon the aliens beseiging the New Manchester Colony. The world's industrial cities burned brightly against the backdrop of space; the distinctive sillhouettes of her assailants cast upon the smoke and debris in orbit, as Helisian Navy vessels burned in her skies as they mounted their final stands. Squinting at the situation, the Admiral exhaled deeply before turning to face his bridge staff; they knew what he was going to say. "Gentlemen," he started, shifting his gaze to New Manchester, "I'm not going to lie to you. This is a fight I don't think we can win." as the admiral spoke, the Pride of London's decks began to shudder as she entered the fray above the world. "But I'll be damned if we're not going to take as many of these alien bastards down with us as possible." he said, producing an expensive-looking golden cigar box from the inside pocket of his blazer, and proceeding to place one in his mouth before returning the box. "It will be our finest hour." he concluded, lighting the cigar and settling into his command chair. Within seconds, Pride of London's forward belt was ablaze with incoming plasma fire as a quartet of warcruisers turned their attention to Lancer's newly arrived Fleet. The admiral new that Colonial Command's goal of saving the colony was flawed at best, but he also knew that Helisian Colonies don't fall to the enemy with ease; and that he'd fight 'till the last goddamn shell was spent. The London's eight, 'two-forty' batteries returned fire; sending orange tracers hurtling towards the attacking warcruisers, one of the shells found its mark; erupting into a bright fireball of twisted micro-filament armour fibres and debris - the Warcruiser lurched slighty, before falling off course. Left right and centre, Lancer's destroyers were being picked off like flies; at least half had been reduced to flaming wrecks, and other half were scattered or retreating. The London herself had taken a beating. She had found herself and two other Helisian Armoured Cruisers; the Falklands and Ilse of Man, surrounded by alien warships; Lancer knew this would be the end. Standing up from his chair, brushing off the explosions and sparks flying around the bridge, the Admiral stood before the observation window, brushing some dust from his blazer, he clasped his hands behind his back. "Our finest hour." London's hull erupted into a fireball as multiple plasma blasts impacted upon the old warship; breaking her in half. Falklands faught on valiantly; her two-forty batteries inflicting multiple blows on an approaching Dreadnought, but she too, fell to the alien onslaught. With the Helisian Colony's defenses broken, and no more warships to commit to the fight, The Magistrate accepted defeat; New Manchester was gone, and the final war had just begun. Prime Minister Gordon Rogers called an emergency meeting at the Magistrate Hall on New London; members of the cabinet gathered in the Hall, with the Chief of the Military and his advisors. Standing up to the Podium, Mr. Rogers cleared his throat. "We are at war." he spoke, as a low murmer broke out in the Hall. "The Colony of New Manchester has fallen to an alien threat, and I am told the Navy has lost two fleets already in an attempted defence." his words were chilling, as silence filled the room. "I have called this meeting to address the situation, and explore any and all options we have, not just to retaliate, but to ensure our survival as a nation. Mister Montgomery?" the Prime Minister gestured to the Chief of the Military, who stood up to his podium. "Given the events in New Manchester, I can confirm that the Helisian Navy is severely out-classed by the alien threat, Mister Prime Minister. With our current capability, including our losses that we have already sustained; I am unsure if an adequate defence can be staged." the Chief said what the Prime Minister had feared the most. "What alternatives do we have, Mr. Prime Minister?" A cabinet member spoke out. "If the Navy cannot defend our colonies, what else do we have?" The Prime Minister paused, before turning back to the Chief. "Mr. Montgomery, can the Navy muster a combat ready fleet within twenty-four hours?" he asked. The chief turned to an advisor; quitely exchanging words, before looking back to the Prime Minister. "We can have a battle-strength fleet assembled in fourty-eight. Thirteen cruisers remaining, from the colonies of Birmingham and Cambridge, Prime Minister. That's all we have left." "Then assemble what ships we have and assemble a fleet over New London. I'm executing Order Nine."

That's right. Luckily I didn't rage-delete all my videos. I just simply made them private. Well most of my videos are back up, except for my first Metro Exodus Ray Tracing play through because apparently I talk out of my ass most of the time (and the chair muffles my voice). So yeah you can check out my crappy videos on my YouTube Channel. MAKE SURE TO DISLIKE EVERYONE OF THEM YOU LOVELY PEOPLE. That's sarcasm. Just FYI. But I don't really care what you do I guess.T_T

Update: Screw everyone who attacked and upset me. I'm making my video series and that's it. I have a cool new idea for an Immersive Play through to showcase the Ray Tracing. My first video in this series can be found here. So I did some videos where I was talking, and while I very much enjoyed giving my thoughts on gameplay elements and graphics, especially in Metro Exodus, with Ray Tracing, I feel now that my anxiety has once again beaten me and these will now stop. At least for now. I will be perfectly honest. I've deleted my "Disqus" account, I've closed my "Twitter" account and I am going to vet my videos on my "YouTube" channel before I release any publicly. Basically, I have been attacked, insulted, accused of being a liar, and even a "Paid shill". All of this for expressing my interest and passion in graphics technology, and saying how I feel. I was also told exactly what sort of performance I would get with Ray Tracing enabled, on my RTX 2060 Super, by people who almost certainly don't own the hardware or even play the games. From playing Metro Exodus myself with the Ray Tracing, the performance is great and I am pleased with it. But without further ado, I won't continue to justify myself on the internet, I will let the results speak for themselves so that it what I intend to do.

Oh yeah. Well obviously I lied, didn't I? Basically everything I say is bullshit anyway. I just go where the wind takes me. Me and my mum, it's us against the world and I don't need anyone else in my life. The RTX 2060 Super is awesome and I love it. ~ Mum's the only exception to my new rule "don't let anyone close" - and you can't be hurt by them. Some friendships were short, one was very long, but all ended up the same way. Human beings are complicated creatures that confuse and scare me, they are un-predicatable, and if I'm any evidence of this: They can be broken in some twisted ways. This has happened before. But this one dragged on because I truly felt I had something with this person. How wrong I was. Completely, and utterly, wrong. I don't know what happened, I don't know what I did wrong, communication broken down and I can't, I won't, accept being treated like shit. So I cut them loose for the last and final time. Sure I have online friends, and some really nice friends at that, everyone who applied for my "friendship application form", I really enjoy chatting to online and there's that, but, no one's getting close anymore. If life's taught me one thing these last 15 years, it's that my heart is too fragile and too valuable to me, to trust anyone other than my own mother with it. Sash gets Ray Tracing (finally). So I bought the GeForce RTX 2060 Super. I didn't really intend to buy new hardware this year, but given the circumstances, I think I just wanted to get something cool to test and make videos with. I haven't actually tried the RTX yet, I've just played Warframe and that's basically it so far. I made a video of my thoughts on the card and why I got this one in a stupid video I posted yesterday. So I guess you can go watch that if you want. Don't forget to "dislike" it! There's still a tiny scrap of self-confidence left that needs to be stamped out :)

Oh my God, yes they are. I had to get a vertical GPU mount. Okay, so I got one. And I'm going to show you pictures of how it looks. :D

I posted about it here. Yeah well it came back and now I put the Wraith Prism RGB back on, and I am just going to leave it the hell alone. This is basically one of the huge problems I have, and I guess I'm also using my Blog here as a Diary of sorts to record it lol. Anyway I am deciding to keep the Prism on the CPU, since it's hot and my OC was making more heat anyway. I am really happy with the cooler and I even found the cable for it so I can control the RGB LEDs and I have it set to match my Sapphire RX 590's fan LEDs (Sapphire Blue). With the ring spinning red around it. Efficiency? I am running the CPU at 3.9 locked, at a reduced voltage for minimum heat / better efficiency. If there's one thing that overclocking processors has taught me, it's that the last few 100 MHz are just not worth it. Power consumption goes up 50% for like 5% more performance chasing those last couple hundred megahertz. The 2700X actually is very efficient at 3.9 GHz, and 1.2V, but I think for Zen and Zen+, the efficiency "sweetspot"of these chips is around 1.0V and 3.2 to 3.4 GHz, this is where the architecture is most efficient. This incidnentally is where the Ryzen 7 1700 and 2700 clock to, all core, respectively. Those two processors are highly efficient. Back when I used to "crunch" for WCG, I had two 1700's running 24/7, at stock this chip is 3.2 GHz on all eight cores crunching 16 threads, 100% load and power usage is almost spot on its "TDP" Rating of 65W. The 2700 is about the same, but 200 MHz higher (thanks to improved efficiency of GloGo 14nmLPP -> 12nmLP). Just some trivia. Maybe I should put my 2700X at 3.4 or 3.5 GHz and get the voltage as low as possible, and try the same with my RX 590. Both chips are built on GF 12nmLP by the way. Isn't that cool. Just appeals to me to have both my GPU and CPU on the same silicon process :D. Anyway I might try 1.2 or 1.3 GHz on the 590 at a lower voltage and then set the 2700X down, too. See how my performance is, the increased efficiency will be highly appreciated. It's going to be 35*C today.... I'm Literally Melting.

I actually got over it like, 2 days after I fitted the Wraith Prism, and while the prism works fine for stock and a mild overclock, I actually managed to build the confidence to overclock my 2700X again, to 4.3 GHz all cores, which was really nice. You may have guessed I go through an awfully large amount of thermal paste, this is why I switched from TG Kryonaut to Arctic MX4 2019, cuz it's cheaper. Anyway I couldn't get my CPU stable under heavy loading at a temperature I was okay with for the voltage required, it crashed in cinebench R20, with 1.36V in the cores, but idle and gaming load was stable at 1.4+, this is because my MSI b450 mortar has pretty crappy vdroop. Which is a huge pain the posterior. >_> But I lowered the clock speed to 4.225, so that's 75 MHz lower, at the same voltage, and it seems stable under heavy loading now which is what I wanted. Sometimes the anxiety is bad, other times it is okay. This changes daily and I bet in a couple weeks or a month or whatever I will get anxious about crashing again and place my Prism back on... This is why I break things :( But I am liking it the way it is for the moment. Oh I also increased my RAM clock speed to 3400MHz and only loosened one timing, to 14-15-14-30, as per the Ryzen DRAM calculator from techpowerup. I will place a link here later (I'm typing this post on my phone on the Wix app, and that would be an exertion of effort I am unwilling to provide, but actually in the time I took to type this I could have done it, but oh well it's done now lol). Edit/Update; Here is the link to the Ryzen DRAM calculator over at Tech Power Up, this tool saves many of my hairs from beiing forcible removed from my head over memory timing tweaking >_> My PC is so awesome. Yay. Meow.

Nugget fell badly sick today. We still don't know for sure, why, but he was vomiting up saliva and breathing rapidly, and growling because I think he was in pain. We took him to the vets and they gave him some painkillers to help with the nausea and some anti-biotics just in case. I was so worried, I even teared up a bit in the consultation room, with worry and anxiety of my little guy... Anyway we took him home and he was all dopey from the painkillers... And he's been like this all afternoon. Apparently they last for 8 hours, we are going to take him in to the vets again if he doesn't improve and get his appetite back. Get well Soon, Nugget :( Update I am emotionally drained and tired, and I have a stress headache (I don't get headaches often so it's definitely bad)... But my little guy is on the road to recovery. He didn't want his fish or special drink, but he has lapped up his normal wet food sachet this morning as usual and he has been much more active as the painkillers wear off (he was basically out of it, to dull the nausea from his sickness). He's had a massive brush this morning and I got 27 carpets out of him since he's not had his daily groom when he was unwell. I need to sleep and/or play Warframe all day (I don't know how I'd play it in my sleep but you get the message) with my boy at my side and I'm keeping an eye on him closely for the next week or so before he is allowed outside again. This all happened after I gave him some new treats, it's my fault and I feel so bad over it. The vet says he likely has a very sensitive stomach. I have decided that I will offer him fresh cooked chicken or fish for his treat. <3 Sorry I've been an emotional windbag. I just don't know how to cope when things go wrong.

Just making an update post because I am (I think) just coming out of my "Phase". Kepler in 2019 :O Anyway right down to business, a friend is sending me a GeForce GTX 770, which I am going test extensively against my Radeon R9 280X, to get my own idea of how these two old competitors fare, in 2019. That post will be up in the soon(ish) future, but don't hold your breath on it. Thanks for understanding. I also made a new Warframe Video, just casually enjoying Orb Vallis at nearly 144 Hz, the limiting factor is my RX 590, which even at 1600 MHz is being given a run for its money to keep that FPS. The 2700X just doesn't give a crap, lol. 4.3 GHz and Zero Fooks Given. :3 It's a good thing it's perfectly adequate for all my needs. Since I Can't Upgrade This Year. Sash's PC gets a Clock Boost Oh, I put the H110i back on the 2700X and boosted it to 4.3 GHz, I did type that a moment ago. I also hot-glued some 60mm fans to my front drive bays since I lost the covers (then I found them right after hot gluing -_-"). Anyway more airflow is good, right? Also The RGB LEDs. RUH GUH BUH!!. Ahem. Anyway, I am going to do more Hardware profiles soon, and also, obviously, one for the GTX 770. I'm pretty excited to get my hands on a new GPU. Thanks Steiner! (You know who you are!). <3

I feel like shit. Depression, blah, blah. Same old Bullshit. This time, I won't do something impulsive. Instead I will just say that I am taking a break for a while. Idk what to do with myself